Merry Christmas, by the way...

to all my friends.

.... except you, sir, my lone Jewish friend, who will never read this because you will not upgrade from that fancy abacus that you own, to a Macintosh and therefore, may probably never access the internet ever again. To you sir, I'll say a very Happy Hanukkah.

I just found out though, that the two holidays don't fall on the same day. Apparently Hanukkah was nearly a month ago. My apologies, sir, this is all very new to me.

This may probably be why the woman in the store gave me strange looks when I told her I was Jewish, and needed to buy Hanukkah presents for the 25th (or something like that, I don't recall my exact words). I thought she was just confused between the Indian accent and the incredibly Muslim name on my credit card.